Bear with me as I am supper emotional writing this blog post this evening. One of the reasons for my blogging is to keep as a journal for my family. This post I am dedicating to Emmett.
Dear sweet Emmett! Oh how you have changed me for the better. I had never known such sorrow nor happiness since you came into my life. I have learned to appreciate the tiniest rays of sunshine that creep through times of dark trails. I have learned that my Father in Heaven will NEVER forsake me or my family, if we but ask and have faith in Him and our Beloved Savior.
At 7 weeks of pregnancy, I was warned of a weak and fragile pregnancy. Starting at 13 weeks I was told weekly that I was to prepare myself for your passing. I plead with the Lord, for strength and guidance to know what was best to do. I tried my best to do all I could to stay down and to be able to help you grow and have a fighting chance. I had never prayed so hard in my life as I did at that time. You miraculously grew in my womb until 28 weeks gestation. I had been hospitalized for 3 weeks prior to your arrival. I was prepared for your coming as I knew something was not right as I started to bleed heavily. The Lord blessed our Physician to be at the right place at the right time for an emergency C-section.
I had a glimpse of you, when you first entered this world. You were oh so tiny and fragile. I remember the NICU team pumping your chest and giving you breathes through an airway bag. You were rushed away and it felt so foreign to me to not be able to hold or look into your eyes right after the delivery.
The next day we were told that your bowels had ruptured and that you needed an emergency surgery. The prognosis was unknown and your dad and I came to your incubator to pray with you and hope that we were not saying goodbye.
That is when we met wonderful Dr Egan for the first time. He was the emergency surgeon on call. At about five hours later, 1:30am, Dr Egan came into to tell us that you did beautifully in the surgery and it went better than expected! We felt such relief! Praise God!
After a few other ups and downs in the NICU and 3 months later, you were able to come home! We were overjoyed to be a family once again under one roof!
We had a few set backs, due to you being 12 weeks premature. But nothing major and we loved life and learned to enjoy every minute of it! You and Ethan bonded instantly. The first time your brother met you in the NICU he said, "hi baby Doc". After that, the nickname stayed, you were not just Emmett but Doc!
You had a faint cry as one of your vocal cords were paralyzed. It was sweet and fit so perfectly with who you were. What a sweet demeanor you still have today.
I still melt when I see your beautiful blue eyes. You were also blessed with an infectious smile!
The day we celebrated your first birthday was a monumental day! One years old! We did it! I remember crying over the thoughts of just one year before we hoped and prayed so fervently to see you make it to that day. You had, it was so wonderful!
Little did we know, that 2 weeks post, we would experience a nightmare that still haunts me to this day.
After several flu like symptoms and two visit's to the Doctor's office and then the emergency room, we discovered that you had swallowed a button battery that was housed in the remote control to our dvd player. I thought I had died that day! Watching you lay so sick, helplessly and so full of pain on the bed in the Pediatric ICU. I beat myself for not knowing that you had swallowed such a heinous and abhorrent object! I ache at the thought that it was burning you so fiercely inside your sweet innocent body. Damn Battery!!!
You FOUGHT! Your strength was inspiring to all who came to see, work, know and love you! I had many people express their respect and reverence for your ability to fight! I learned to trust God! To place what I could not control into His mighty hands. I know you had guardian angels circling about during those 8 and 10 hour surgeries and many, many painful days in the PICU. I know that you have suffered so much pain that only the Savior could ease and help carry that sorrow. As a parent, I thought I would be the one to teach you about faith, but you have taught me. To have faith, to be strong, to be happy, to believe!
That year had many ups and downs. Stable and unstable moments. We were richly blessed with so many Physicians and Nurses who loved you and helped care for you! We prayed fervently for them to know how to help and care for you. Thank you Dr Egan!
I will never be able to comprehend the pain you have suffered. The amazing part was, people came into your room to try and cheer you up, but they were the one's who left with a smile and laughter. You are a special happy sweet boy! A beautiful gift the Lord has given to you.
I know this difficult road is not near over, much is yet to come. There will be physical issues that will last for the rest of your life, but you are strong! Don't let these set backs stop you from moving forward and fullfilling your life's purpose.! With the Lord by your side, you can do all things!
I am so grateful for the love and patients of your big brother, Ethan. I know you love and admire him so. There were and still are days when neither I nor your dad could cheer you up, but when Ethan walked into the room, the side of your lips turned into the ever so slightest smile. I love watching your sweet relationship bloom. The prayers your brother sent heaven ward for you were so sweet and perfect I could feel such strength through the Holy Spirit. A child's prayer. I could imagine that his faith alone helped carry our family through these past several years. But it was not just Ethan's, or mommy's or daddy's faith that was used. Many, many people across the country and even parts of the world prayed for your healing and recovery. Amazing!
Happy 3rd Birthday sweet boy! I am so grateful you are a part of our family! I love you!
Go Emmett, Go!!!!
Thank you Kathy Scoffield for helping to capture our life's beautiful moments!